Birthplace: City, California, USADate of Birth: 00/00/00
John Correia, better known as the 'Portegee', or to those very close to him, the 'A_ _hole' was raised in San Luis Obispo County and became friends with Bill Jr. during their first year at Mission School. That friendship spawned a lifetime of companionship and memorable times. The two were so close that their two families were like one. In fact, after getting out of high school, John married Bill's cousin, Susan, who was living with Bill's mom and dad at the time. After John served a hitch in the Marines, he eventually moved his family back to San Luis Obispo County and that's when John got his free ticket to the Ranch. It wasn't because John married into the family that gave him his privilege, but his charm, quick wit, kindness, and willingness to help without being asked…essentially it was everything about John that Grandpa and everyone else liked.
As with each person who has frequented the Ranch, John had his own unique personality and style. John would do anything if you dared him, sometimes if you didn't, and he loved to play practical jokes. One of his most hilarious jokes was when he brought a live turkey hen out to the Ranch during turkey season, Tom only season. He carefully tied the hen turkey by the leg to a log in an ideal area right off the road near the reservoir; an area known to be frequented by wild turkeys in the early morning. Then somehow he solicited Bill Sr. to partner with him by getting Big Bill to drive Joe Scuri down the road to the spot where the turkey was tied. In the meantime we went to the reservoir and hid on the side hill, John on one side and me on the other. It wasn't long before the truck came around the bend and suddenly stopped. Both Big Bill and Joe looked long enough to see it was a hen. Then the passenger side door quietly opened and Joe got out, snuck around to the front side of the truck to get a better shot, and fired. The turkey was hit but wasn't dead, it was trying to get away but couldn't because she was tied. Joe knew it was a hen and panicked trying to get another shell in the gun. Frustrated with the gun and realizing the shot may attract others, Joe ran over to the turkey, picked it up and started to run back to the truck. The funny thing was as he was running with the turkey he was dragging the log the turkey was tied to. We rolled off the hill laughing…but I don't think Joe every saw the humor in it.
That was just one of many little stunts John pulled. John had characteristics which were humorous, and others that were irritating. Don Wright was the victim of one of his more irritating traits, his unusual hunting style. Don was with John on a number of hunts where John would beat Don to the first shot and would inevitably kill the deer. On one occasion, John and Don were on top of Rudy's Rock and John went to sleep, for a couple of hours at least, while Don vigilantly kept a careful watch of the terrain below in hopes of seeing a deer. When John woke up he took one look out at the canyon below them, and spotted a buck at the bottom of the hill. Without much discussion, John picked up his rifle, shot the buck, and somehow convinced Don go down the hill and field dress it as he went back for the Jeep. I was across the canyon at the time and when I got to Don he started talking to himself, mumbling something about how did this happen, where did the deer come from, how did John wake up just at that time and get the first shot. As I was listening to him, I just kept wondering why Don was cleaning John's deer. John also shot a deer out from Don during a road hunt when they were both on crutches. That's a long story, but they were both glad Joe showed up to help the cripples get the deer off the hill.
John also had his own style at poker. First, you have to understand that John always had a wad of money on him. When I say wad, I mean literally a bunch of twenties, fifties, and hundreds, all wadded together light a plug of chewing tobacco and crammed into his front pocket…not a wallet. When he brought it out of his pocket he would have to unpeel it to find the bill he wanted. I seen him with a few thousand dollars kept in the same manner, one big wad. That was his bank and he would use that to call anyone at anytime regardless of what he had or what they had showing. John just liked the challenge, just like he liked Acey Deucy. In fact, John 's playing of Acey Deucy got it banned from the main table because the large pots took the fun out of the game. It's still be played late at night outdoors by a few of John's disciples. But in low ball, we have actually adopted the "John Rule". The John Rule came out of a heated game of low ball where only John and Don were left holding cards. When all the betting was over and the hands displayed, Don had a pair of deuces and John had a pair of aces. Don went to grab the pot and John said he had the winning hand, stating that 2 aces are lower than 2 deuces in low ball. Only John could come up with that call, but in a kinda Portugee logic, it made sense. Unfortunately, that single hand shot the whole night…they argued until the next day and I really don't remember who actually took the pot. Why they were both holding a pair in low ball and calling is beyond me. I guess they were trying to buy a hand, something I've never done. Nonetheless, out of honor to John, we now accept John's rule in our low ball games.
John was our designated camp cook. He stopped hunting evenings years earlier when he passed out in the hills after having four or five home brews. We all went out for our evening hunt and when it got dark we were all back at the Ranch, but John was no where to be found. We all grabbed flashlights and went back into the hills to find out what happened to John. After a couple of hours firing guns in the air and yelling his name, John finally popped up out of the poison oak. He said he heard the noise and seen the lights but thought he was back in Vietnam so he kept hid. That home brew had really did a number on him. Anyway, John was an excellent cook, occasionally cooking such delicacies as prime rib in a cast iron Dutch oven, roasted wild turkey, sautéed halibut, and his famous menu-to-order egg omelets. But there were dishes he totally massacred and didn't realize it, but I blame that on his Protégée blood. I killed a deer one morning and John volunteered to cook the liver, which was customary to have fresh liver the day of the kill. It wasn't long and John was calling us to the table, and there laid out on the platter was the fried liver and bacon, mixed with sautéed onions and chorizo. I couldn't believe it, liver with chorizo and all you could taste was the chorizo. There was also the time he made a pot of ranch beans for lunch and decided to throw in two cans of mushrooms. Why, I don't know, but hardly anybody touched the beans.
John had another unique trait when it came to drinking. Could John hold his liquor….well, he could certainly hold his beer. He could drink beer all day, at least he had a can of beer in his hand all day. You couldn't tell if it was his first beer or fifteenth beer because every time you'd look he'd be holding a can of Bud. It was a different story with liquor. Give John a little brandy and in a few minutes he would get "on the bias". All of a sudden his hat would be sitting high on his head and off center, his eyes would get close together in a squinting gaze, and his disposition would become totally unpredictable. He put brandy in his coffee one morning and ended up riding his horse bareback and backwards up on the patio and around the table while we were sitting there. This was about 9:00 in the morning and he was totally wasted from that one cup of coffee.
You can't really put in words everything that John was or what he gave to everyone he was around. John did a lot for the Ranch without being asked; as he did for us who were around him. His spirit will always be with us and ever present at the Ranch. Thanks, John.
Bill Jr. - July, 2003
